Matt Webb's 100 Head Cattle Drive 2008

"Because MOOOre is butter"

27 November. The day began slowly... 2 cows in the post (thanks Peter Q! thanks Sascha P!) then, at lunchtime, a cow, bull and a clutch of calves hand-delivered (thanks James C!). And then... and then... and then Happy Happy Sue delivered and the herd was, at a stroke, doubled. OH MY! Here is photographic evidence. You all: you have my DEEPEST THANKS. You have made a herdsman very happy. I have a bundle of delivery notes to go through and thank yous will be posted and votes counted shortly. But for now, I revel in the cows. What a way to wind down the week!

ALSO! Happy Happy Sue are taking the money they saved on postage and will donate it to the charity that wins the vote. Wonderful people! The team there also threw in some trees. THANK YOU!

For those keeping count, I'm now at 62 COWS, 10 BULLS and 24 CALVES. I said to begin with it was 100 cows (and only cows) I wanted, and that bulls and calves would be merry extras only. But I look at this plastic and I wonder. I wonder. The herd fills my desk. What to do? WHAT TO DO. I'm very VERY tempted to push through to 100 cows. Do you think I can make it? I'm going to sleep on it. I hope you understand. In the meantime, enjoy the photos :) Thank you all :)

** DESIRE

I like small plastic cows. I don't know why. I haven't owned any until today. For many years I have wanted a herd for my home. Perhaps 100 or so. Yes, 100 would do nicely. DO NOT ASK ME WHY.

(I think it would be a neat thing.)

** PROBLEM

There is no way I can justify to myself spending that much money on plastic cows. Really, there is no way.

** WIN-WIN

I could however justify giving that same amount of money, or more, to a worthwhile charity. That would be an easy thing. And while I personally could not justify splashing coins on plastic cattle, I would be perfectly happy encouraging 100 other people to each spend 1% of that (plus postage and packing). This is because of my willingness to take advantage of that happy human psychological miracle called out of sight, out of mind.

A promise: IF I GET 100 × SCHLEICH HOLSTEIN OR FLECKVIEH COWS, I WILL DONATE £500 TO A CHARITY CHOSEN BY MAJORITY VOTE.

** 3 SIMPLE STEPS

  1. Go to one of the following pages and buy me 1 cow of your choice... either a Schliech Holstein Cow (from Amazon or Happy Happy Sue) or a Schleich Fleckvieh Cow (from Amazon or Happy Happy Sue). Have it sent to S&W, 18 Hewett St, London EC2A 3NN, UK. This is my work address. I am not going to give out my home address to the kind of people who send plastic animals to folks they run into on the internet.
  2. On the gift message, tell me which of these charities you would prefer me to donate £500 to: Aga Khan Foundation, Breast Cancer Care, Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, or Traid.
  3. I will track deliveries here! At 100, I will have my herd and donate the cash to the charity with the most votes.

IMPORTANT NOTE. For the purposes of the count, only the Schliech brand Holstein and Flechvieh cows above will qualify. You are, of course, more than welcome to give me, in addition, a Fleckvieh cow grazing, a Holstein bull or Holstein calf, or even a Fleckvieh bull or Fleckvieh calf, and these will be gratefully received and added to the herd. Also feel free to use alternative retailers.

Really it's like you're donating to charity but via me. Or like you're paying to vote for which charity I donate to and meanwhile I get a free cow. Or like you're indulging my stupid whim, and as a side-effect I get a HERD OF PLASTIC UNGULATES.

AND NOW A COMMENT. I do understand that Royal Mail will get a pretty packet from delivery charges out of this, but to be honest I regard physical delivery somewhat as a charity in any case, and it deserves our kind sympathy and support.

** LET'S SEE THOSE COWS AGAIN

Buy this one: ...from Amazon or Happy Happy Sue

Or this one: ...from Amazon or Happy Happy Sue

They are £3.75 so if I bought them myself it would cost £375, more or less. You will also pay postage. As an added incentive my donation will be £500 when we hit our target. :-D

Well done team, now let's ROLL 'EM OUT.

** PROGRESS (27 Nov 2008)

So far... 62/100 cows:

Breakdown:

More cows pls!

** WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?

Ultimately it is I, Matt Webb/genmon (email), who is responsible for this travesty of design and abuse of the sense of humour of the internet. I have a blog, naturally, and a design consultancy and studio which has udderly nothing to do with my cattle drive.

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